My current relationship is in good standing. We started havin problems a few months ago and it has really worn both of us down.... right now we arent even "together".....i really love him but i have my doubts at times
The full story: (summary)
We started dating in Feb 08...fun times....we both had always wanted to talk to the other but we were both too shy to say anything
on march 1, we made our relationship official and everything was good...even though we had to spend a month apart we still talked/texted everyday
we got real lucky with our duty assignments....he got NC i got SC so we are only 2 and half hours from each other.......and from april to sept i was on a greyhound bus every weekend to go see him
in july he proposed...we were engaged.....major step....everything was still all good
i think things got sour in sept.....we were seeing each other less often then..... a month had went by and the next time we were together i was came across some strange things that made me go 'hmmmmmm'
basically, i saw some things that made me think he was cheating.....they were subtle signs...but i cudnt ignore them
i tried to bring it up one day but of course the 'u dont trust me' card was played.....so i left it alone....
soooo fast forward to nov.....he calls me and gives me the 'just friends' speech....im just like
'wtf' ....he said he wants to be with me but (insert sum random bs here).....needless to say...i was
shocked....
soooo im like ok we gone try this friends bs but i gaurnteed that he gonna wanna be way more than friends after i visit him.....
it was wierd to see him after the 'friends' discussion....but i played it cool.....i put all the bs outta my mind and i was his 'Ari' again.....sweet and playful....and seductive.....it wasnt long before we acting all lovey dovey again......but then i made a fatal mistake......i gave him the ring back, he was upset by this because he thought i was trying to say 'take this shit, i dont want it' BUT i just wanted him to be like 'no i WANT u to have it' but once again our lack of communication created another problem......i left NC very upset.....
just when u thought it couldnt get worse:
When i left NC i was headed to Detroit to visit my family and friends....this is the week of Thanksgiving.....while im there me and him text occasionally....anywhoo ONE night im out wit the girls, the party we were at was bAnGiN!! sooo im chillin have a good time and i see this dude...imma call him auto....me and auto got sum history together....dating back to 05.....i had really strong feelings about him.....but auto is an asshole....and i am well aware of that but i still played the fool....auto gives me his num and tells me to call him later........hmmm decisions decisions....and i made the wrong one
the next few hours include liquor, laughter, and a lifetime of regret.......i dont even remember most of it....i know i made a terrible mistake though....
i spent most of the next day sleep at my friends house.....when i woke i was filled with self loathing....i cudnt believe what i had done....how could i be so stupid
later that night i called him and told him what had happened.....of course he was upset he told me 'im not going to speak to you anymore' i cudnt think of anything to say.....wat could i say at that the time....wat i had done was inexcusable and i knew it....and i was prepared to go on living my life without him.........
the next day i was makin my way back to SC.....i made a few wrong turns here and there....and BAM! i crash into a ditch!!! just my effin luck right? luckily i had my friend neek to help me thru the stressful event.....but me and her were both stuck in sum random ass part of ohio....we were fuckin stranded.....neither one of us had anybody to help us or so i thought....when i told him we were stranded he simply said he wud come get us when he gets off work....i was in total shock.....i had just committed the ultimate betrayal and he was still willing to jump up and rescue me just like that....
so he makes this 8 hr drive to come get us.....i was in the shower when he got there....i kinda sensed when he got there and i was little hesitant to come out the bathroom.....but when i did he was just lying on the bed....i tried to tiptoe around the room so he wudnt hear me lol but anywhoo he was surprisingly nice.....he asked for a hug and i really thought it was a trick so that he could choke me.....but it wasnt....i was just really shocked....he was real cool then....we were even playin around and wrestling.....the trip back wasnt so fun tho.....he was really moody....he wud be real happy one minute and then all upset the next minute....maybe it was all the 5 hr energy shots he had...maybe hes crazy......when we finally made it to SC.....he got back cool.... everything was all good again....we even got closer than close (catch my drift?) and soon it was time for him to go........
and then i dont even remember what happened but we got off the path again.....we dont talk or text as much and sometimes im still suspicious of him
one of my friends made a good point: she said that he got over wat i had done so quickly because he had done or was doing the same thing.....
i dont really know what to do about it....i love him and i want it to work?
isnt that enough?
Honestly as a man I dont know if I could ever get over that whether we are together or not cause once I love I love hard and for him to drive to get u was a very nice thing to do really amazing actually. But yea as a man I would say he is definetly talking or with another woman, for him to come to u smiling with no altercation between you two is beyond me only other thing is he has someone else and his concious(spelling) feels bad. As far as him asking you to be his wife then saying yall should be friends really lets you know that their is someone else in the picture. Sorry for the harsh outlook but I was in a situation before with a woman that I thought I wanted to be with No Marriage or anything but I liked her alot and then some how we became more and more distant and like all men and woman we love companionship so it was really easy for someone else to come along and give me that. TTYL
ReplyDeletei really appreciate that....i heard pretty the same thing from another man
ReplyDeletei cant really talk to him about it cuz i know if i tried he wud just bring up my mistake...
yea that is true and if u truely believe he is the one for you youll have to bring it up cuz its not fair to urself to be sitting waiting around for him to act right or forgive u. I think as a woman you deserve better than that. EVEN THOUGH I DONT KNOW U ;-)
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